It's Time to Begin...

Well, I set up this blog page about two months ago so I thought maybe I should stop procrastinating and start posting.  Today is my first full day at home following my second surgery.  I've set this site up so that I would have a place to come and just write about how I'm feeling...let it out, so to speak.  I don't know how it'll go.  I'm usually not good at following through on things, I have about 10,000 half done things on the go, but I'm going to try.  I like the idea of being about to "talk" about what I'm thinking and feeling.  Maybe it'll give M a break from having to listen to me talk about cancer.  I know he has his own concerns and I know he doesn't talk about them, or anything, so maybe this will at least stop giving him more bad thoughts to loom over.  So, I think I'll go back... back to the beginning... if I wasn't such a procrastinator it'd be easier, but now there's been so much time pass since the beginning.  When I got home from the doctor on that very first day of learning I had cancer, I wrote out a blurb on my computer just because even then I had the feeling that one day I would want to be able to look back and see the journey...see where it started, how it went, and how I felt about it.  I've posted regular status updates on Facebook to sort of help with this task as well.  I usually delete my "wall" but haven't since July 13th because I thought I might want to go back and take note of how the months were passed...what I did...how I coped.  Anyway, I'll start at the beginning and work my way forward from there.  I don't know if anyone will read this or if it'll matter much, but I'm doing it for me.  If you do read it, you might think I give out too much information, but that's me.  I say what I think and I think what I say.  If it's too much information for you, stop reading.  This is my story.